Googled myself and thought this was funny & ironic.
(Lights up on an old woman, Marjorie, feeding pigeons.)
Marjorie: Oh I do so love feeding pigeons. It's my greatest joy in my twilight years.
Pigeon 1 eats a bread crumb and turns his head to Majorie.
Pigeon 1: Stop feeding us you horrible old woman. I can feel myself getting obese as we speak.
Pigeon 2: Om nom nom bread crumbs.
Marjorie: You all do love these breadcrumbs, don't you?
Pigeon 1: What did you put in these breadcrumbs, crack? I literally cannot stop eating them. If I stop eating them I'll die, but if I keep eating them I'll die.
Pigeon 2: I FUCKING LOVE BREADCRUMBS.
Marjorie: Good thing I brought this industrial sized bag of breadcrumbs.
Pigeon 1: What the fuck industry would need breadcrumbs.
Pigeon 2: The industry of deliciousness! Om nom nom nom.
Marjorie: It might be cruel to literally feed these pigeons to death, but that'll teach them to rob my house again.
Pigeon 1: I will give all of your hats back if you stop feeding me.
Marjorie: No. And stop skateboarding on the sidewalk.
Pigeon 1: But it's my calling.
Pigeon 2: I am Tony fucking Hawk.
Pigeon 1: Actually you're Tony fucking Pigeon. Now eat these breadcrumbs.
Marjorie: Keep eating my pretties. There's a surprise in the bottom of the bag.
Pigeon 1: Is it sweet, merciful death?
Marjorie: No. It's an atom bomb.
Pigeon 1: It's actually more breadcrumbs, isn't it?
Pigeon 2: Man, I love breadcrumbs.
(Blackout.)
they will become her giant, fat trophies
Stressed but not really
Mama’s coming to town. I’m a little stressed but not really. Miss that little lady. But if she nags… and she will… then I’ll…
:)
I’ve never gotten so many reblogs/likes/hits before! Perhaps thanks to the roll of film blowing up!
